Did you know the average American touches their phone 2,617 times in a 24-hour period? I didn’t either—until I realized I was one of them. In 2022, I decided to place strict boundaries on my iPhone use. My brain was overloaded and I was disgusted by how I felt after endlessly browsing the news and social media. Every time, I felt like I needed to wash off the negativity and reset my heart.
Growing up, my mom always told me not to use the word "hate" because it’s so strong. But in this case, it’s the only word that fits. I hated the mindless scrolling that led me down a rabbit holes. I hated that I felt the need to start and end my day with my phone, checking missed texts, emails, and news.
Most of all, I hated the example I was setting for my kids. I hated the digital dementia that seemed to plague my once-sharp brain. I hated all the time I was wasting, how easily distracted I had become, and how my phone was stealing focus, time, and fun from the people who mattered most: my family.
My habits and relationship with my iPhone had become toxic. I wanted to smash it with a baseball bat, run it over with my car, and rewind to 1999—back when none of this existed. So, I stepped back, reestablished priorities, created new habits, and used the built-in features within my phone to create time-limits and greater awareness of my usage. The result? BETTER EVERYTHING, like:
More time, focus and productivity
Sharper memory
Increased creativity
Better peace, calm and clarity
Improved sleep and less stress
What I Learned from Stolen Focus, by Johann Hari
After feeling the addictive pull of my iPhone and wanting to dig deeper into the topic, I read a fascinating yet disturbing book by Johann Hari called Stolen Focus: Why You Can't Pay Attention and How to Think Deeply Again. What makes this book so valuable is that it’s backed by scientific research, validating everything I was feeling and experiencing. It confirmed I wasn’t crazy!
Johann traveled the world to meet leading scientists and experts investigating how our focus and attention are being stolen—along with our peace, calm, time, joy, clarity, and creativity. Here are just three of the many findings from over 250 scientific studies.
To Do Anything Well, You Must Be Able to Focus
Since the invention of the smartphone, we’ve been conditioned to believe we must be available 24/7, always reachable and ready to respond. We’ve fallen for the myth that everything is urgent and requires our immediate attention—whether it's a text, email, news alert or any notification. We've also been deceived into thinking that the world inside our phones is more engaging and beautiful than the one outside. But this simply isn’t true.
Apple began selling the iPhone in 2007. Facebook opened itself for general use in late 2006, and one-third of Americans were using it by 2009. Prior to 2007 (less than twenty years ago) we thrived without constant notifications and distractions and there's no doubt we were more productive, connected, and content.
I’m 47 now and have spent more years without this dopamine-driven fix—the rush we get from a ping, buzz, or like. I've found it to be exhausting and unsustainable, and it’s alarming how quickly we’ve embraced these habits over the last 15-20 years. To do anything well, we must be able to focus!
How Our Phones Effect Our Sleep
We all know that sleep is incredibly important, and the average adult needs seven to nine hours each night. But did you know that 40% of Americans are chronically sleep-deprived, getting less than seven hours a night? In the past 100 years, the average amount of sleep has dropped by 20%. These statistics come from Charles Czeisler, a Harvard Medical School professor who advises everyone from the Boston Red Sox to the U.S. Secret Service.
Why Are We Sleeping Less?
Why are we sleep deprived? The answer to this question is complex, but one clear culprit is our phones and the addictive doom scrolling that
triggers dopamine rushes throughout the body. According to the book The 5 Resets by Aditi Nerurkar MD, "studies show that 62% of people check their phones within fifteen minutes of waking up, and about 50% check them in the middle of the night. Additionally, the
artificial light from phones, especially the blue light emitted by screens, disrupts sleep by interfering with melatonin production—the hormone that regulates our sleep-wake cycle. To improve sleep, Charles Czeisler recommends we drastically reduce exposure to artificial light before bed and avoid screens for at least two hours. Roxanne Prichard also suggests 'recharging our phones in a separate room overnight' and bringing back the old-school alarm clock.
The Negative Effects of Sleep Deprivation
We all know how terrible it feels to be chronically sleep-deprived. If you're a mom, it's impossible to forget the early months of little sleep with newborns. Sleep deprivation affects everything negatively, turning us into hungry, tired and overstimulated two-year-olds. From our attitudes and food choices to mental sharpness and our ability to think rationally and control emotions—everything is worse when we're tired.
The proven effects of sleep deprivation are:
Activation of the sympathetic nervous system, sending us into "fight or flight" keeping cortisol levels high.
Raised blood pressure and increased heart rate
Exhaustion (mental, physical, and emotional)
Mood disorders, anxiety, and depression
Poor memory and reduced creativity
Increased sugar cravings
Lack of focus
Irritability and irrational behavior
Increased risks of obesity and injury
How to Reduce the Time on Your Phone and Stop the Phone Addiction
Before reading Stolen Focus, I had no idea I could set app timers, create downtime for my phone, and manually turn off those annoying notifications. Since implementing these tips, my awareness and iPhone habits have changed. I’m also big believer in using the Do Not Disturb option and silencing my phone. In fact, when I need to focus on a deadline, my phone stays on Do Not Disturb until I’m finished. I've learned this the hard way, too many times! The Oregon study mentioned above found that 'if we’re focusing on something and get interrupted, it takes an average of 23 minutes to return to the same level of focus',.. I’ve experienced this firsthand! And if you’re like I used to be, hesitant to use sleep mode at night for fear of missing an emergency call, Apple has a built-in solution for that too. Here’s how to use these tools to cut down on screen time and break your phone addiction:
How to Use 'Do Not Disturb'
The Do Not Disturb feature on the iPhone allows you to silence calls, alerts, and notifications while your phone is locked. It helps minimize distractions by preventing interruptions from incoming calls, messages, or app notifications.
How to Use 'Sleep'
The Sleep Mode on your iPhone is designed to help you wind down and improve your sleep quality by minimizing distractions. When activated, it adjusts settings to create a more sleep-friendly environment. Here's what Sleep Mode does:
Dims the Lock Screen: The lock screen is simplified and darkened to reduce brightness and prevent distractions from notifications.
Silences Notifications: Notifications are muted, similar to Do Not Disturb, so you're not disturbed by incoming alerts, calls, or messages during sleep hours.
Limits App Access: Sleep Mode can hide non-essential apps and limit access to distractions, helping you avoid unnecessary phone use before bed.
How to Set App Time Limits
App Time Limits on the iPhone allow you to set a daily time limit for specific apps or categories of apps (like social media, games, or entertainment). Once you reach your set time limit, the app is locked for the rest of the day, helping you manage screen time and reduce usage of apps that can be time-consuming. Please note, you can override the time limits and add extra time.
How to Turn Off Notifications
Notifications on your iPhone are alerts or messages that apps send to your device to keep you updated on events, activities, or reminders. These can appear as banners on your screen, in the Notification Center, or on the Lock Screen. Examples of notifications include:
New text messages or emails.
Social media updates, such as likes or comments.
Calendar reminders or alarm alerts.
App updates or promotions.
Conclusion: As We Create Each Day, so We Craft Our Life
As with anything, balance is key. Your iPhone can be a powerful tool to capture life’s beautiful moments, stay connected with loved ones, and get work done—but it shouldn’t steal your most precious asset: time. By adopting healthier habits, you can use your phone as a resource, not a distraction. Let it enhance your life, not take you away from the people, places, and experiences that truly matter. Set boundaries, be intentional, and reclaim your focus and joy. Life is happening all around you—make sure you're fully present to enjoy it.
At the very least, I encourage you to turn off some notifications, set app time limits, and use the 'Do Not Disturb' feature when you need to focus, and 'Sleep' mode when you are resting.
Finally, because what we consume visually and audibly first thing in the morning impacts our mood, focus, productivity, and mindset, and what we consume visually and audibly before going to bed affects our sleep
quality, emotional regulation, reflection, and closure, I encourage you to refrain from using your iPhone, computer or television during the first and last hours of your day. This doesn’t mean you can’t check the weather, etc., but rather to avoid distracting rabbit-hole apps like social media, news, text messages, and emails, as these can significantly impact your mental and emotional well-being. Instead, I encourage you to make your first and last hours of the day your "Victory Hours"!
"The way you start your day dramatically influences how it unfolds. Some people get up and undermine the value of their morning routine by watching the news, surfing online, scanning social feeds, and checking messages. This gives us a quick pleasure rush of dopamine—an escape from what's important. This causes us to miss out on doing the things that would allow us to leverage the quietude of this special time, helping us maximize our potential so that awesome days show up consistently. As we create each day, we craft our lives. Beginning and ending each day intelligently, healthily, and peacefully isn't only about optimizing your success in life; it's about protecting it." — 5 AM Club
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